Oh fuck. You broke the page.
The page you are looking for is currently unavailable. Accessing it has installed a virus in your computer that can be cured only with a large sledgehammer. The Web site might be experiencing technical difficulties (Fireball has been arrested and detained during a page update, god knows why). Adjust Net Nanny's settings to permit you to look at the type of filth you were trying to access. And also, it burns when I pee.

Please try the following:

  • Click the Suicide button, or try again later when you've got the balls to self terminate.
  • If you typed the page address in the Address bar, make sure that it is spelled correctly (there is no need to spell out "dot com," you yuppie skank).
  • Since I've decided to blame the whole thing on you alone rather than my own horrible programming skills, I want you to take time to check your connection settings. Click the Tools menu, and then click Internet Options. On the Connections tab, click Lesbians. This won't cure your problem, but it's fun to click the Lesbians option. The settings should match those provided by your local area network (LAN) administrator or Internet service provider (ISP). Conformity is good.
  • If your Network Administrator has enabled it, Microsoft Windows can examine your network and automatically discover network connection settings, and dress your hard drive up like an SS officer to march down ze street, as vell--it's JUST THAT COOL.
    If you would like Windows to try and convert your neighborhood,
    click Detect Political Settings. This will unleash screaming chaos upon anyone within a mile of your computer who does not run Windows, including women and children, but miraculously it will leave anything cute and fuzzy (like a puppy!) unharmed to scavenge through the wreckage for remains to gnaw.
  • Some sites require 128-bit connection security. These are usually run by total fucking idiots. Click the Nuclear Warhead menu and then click KILL KILL KILL (the first and last option on the menu since the installation of Bush.exe v.2) to let them know you you feel about this policy.
  • If you are trying to reach a porn site, make sure your credit card can support it. Click the Tools menu, and then click strap on. On the Anal tab, scroll to the Lubrication section and check settings for SSL 2.0, SSL 3.0, TLS 1.0, PCT 1.0.
  • Click the Backside button and you'll get sued so fast your sexist little head will spin.

    Email Fireball if you are totally sure she fucked up the html and she'll fix it immediately. Spanker.


    • Cannot find server or DNS Error
    Domo-kun is coming for your soul.