Please try the following:
Untie me! I have to save the world you nitwits! The hive queen awaits!
If you typed the page address in the Address bar, make sure that
it actually exists in THIS universe, and not just the one you made up in your head For instance, a real error page does not have a giant penis strapped to its forehead to "fuck with your mind."
Did your family turn to zombies in the night? Please go to the Tools menu, and then click
Machete Deathmatch Deluxe. You will find a Mutilate option. Click Maximum Carnage. Your family aren't really people. In fact, no one's human but you. Kill them, Norman. Oh god, the bees! AGAIN WITH THE BEES! My precious flesh!
If your Network Administrator has enabled it, Microsoft Windows
can examine your brain for foreign implants, alien death rays and misplaced razor blades. Also, beware of the Microsoft Anus Worm(tm). It appears on election years and must be stopped. Aunt Jemima gives me painful erections!
If you would like Windows to remove the thought control device currently forcing you to speak only Yiddish, please go find a very large hatchet and begin removing all body parts that appear to be blinking.
It's not a Delusion. All of this is real. They want to GET you. GET THEM FIRST! GO HURT PEOPLE! Grrrrrr! Arf! Foam! FOAM I SAY!
Some sites require 128-bit connection security. These sites are ALWAYS run by the men in black. HIDE FROM THEM at all costs! They want your precious, precious pubic skin! FOR EXPERIMENTS!
If you understand, as I do, that I speak the complete truth, it's time to fix the problem. Break a mirror and use it to cut off the mask the aliens put on your skull to fool people into thinking you're a zombie too. Chant the magic mantra: "SSL 2.0, SSL 3.0, TLS 1.0, PCT 1.0, ANAL SEX!" until the mask is off.
Feed the pieces to the dogs. Their digestive juices mask alien poisons and are handy for craft projects later. OH MY GOD! THE COLORS! Untie me, you heathens! I have to get to New York as quickly as possible to fertilize the hive queen! HILLARY CLINTON NEEDS MY DNA!
Cannot find server or DNS Error
...bees...
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